I ASKED MY STEP BROTHER TO TAKE MY VIRGINITY

Well, my dear Allah, I’d rather be a plant or a flower which grows in accordance with the sun’s rules, not yours. Yet even a flower must yield to the cold and darkness. Or why couldn’t you have made me a fly who sees the swatting hand or the tail of a horse? By putting that dreadful word within my mind you have made me the idiot of all life’s beings, the lowest creature on the face of this God-forsaken earth. Did you do this just to humiliate me? I never expected to be perfect, and I’m far from it, but surely you could have made an exception, knowing how I am unable to live when I encounter these involuntary thoughts. Damn this. I am unsure whether You are the demon or the demon is You, because most of the time I really can’t tell the difference. You fill me with love, and you take away that love with petty hatreds, so offensive that love ceases to exist. And you call yourself a God? If you created Man in your image, how dare you insult our intelligence by calling yourself beneficent. " Longish pause, "He's awake and so far it's looking good. He's asking about Betty and Sally." Very long pause. "Oh, I see. I'll tell him that."Her footsteps, purposeful, too loud for night-time. "Well, Mister Fletcher. Ms Hardcastle and her daughter are well and unharmed. Your assailant is in jail and unlikely to emerge in the foreseeable future. Are you happy now?" Happier. Especially if I can have some more of that water."The light pressure of the straw on the corner of my lips and another taste of water. Not enough when it was taken away."Rest now. Close your eyes, and you'll sleep."No I won't. But I do. When I surfaced again there was the morning bustle and the midnight angel had gone home. A – what do they call them these days? - Health Care Assistants? comes to me with a bowl of warm water. Thankfully, just face and hands.Breakfast. Limp toast and weak milky tea. Horrible. A student nurse takes pity on me and finds me a glass of orange juice. Then, it's nurse my residual aches.
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